Thursday, September 1, 2011

you are the reason

My dear Jonie girl,
You are the reason that mummy's still celebrating life.  Since your arrival on 16th June 2011, what a blessing you have been!

On the day when mummy's water broke unexpectedly early (3 weeks earlier) at 5am, mummy had little or no pain till 8 plus in the morning.  That's when mummy ordered an epidural and right after that mummy even slept while waiting for the 7cm dilation to happen... But, you were eager to meet mummy and daddy, so by 12noon, mummy was already well 8cm dilated. Doc was called in, mummy started pushing at 1pm and by 1.50pm, you came bouncing out!  What a little angel you were! So delicately made. So tiny that mummy was afraid that mummy will break you if mummy held on too tightly.  Mummy remembered the time when you were laid on mummy's breast... you looked around with those big eyes, bewildered with the new surrounding and looking into mummy's face adoringly.  When mummy first looked at you, mummy knew then that you were the best gift God has ever given to mummy.



Since you were born prematurely, docs whisked you away to the Neonatal ICU for monitoring of your body temperature and sugar level in your blood.  Thank God you were OK. But the separation made mummy anxious to see you.  When mummy finally visited you in the ICU, you cried pitifully, as if telling mummy " why did you take so long to come see me?" ahh... it broke mummy's heart and mummy vowed never to leave you unattended for too long again. Mummy has kept that promise thus far....



Mummy had to learn everything about you in such a short time. Your likes, dislikes, what your cries mean, how you want to be held - wow, so much to learn! and mummy is still learning now. Especially when we first shared our breastfeeding experience, mummy was plagued with uncertainty - did mummy latch you on properly? how long should you be drinking? did you have enough to drink? how often should mummy put you to the breast? if mummy had sore and cracked nipples, how can mummy feed you? How can we overcome this together? so many questions that only both you and mummy can discover the answers together.

Mummy thank God for giving you to go through this journey with mummy. Your smiles and coos and whatever little responses to mummy, made all the sacrifices worth while.  Mummy will continue to persevere and be the best mummy to Jonie.  Help me, God, I pray. Let me understand my daughter. Let me be able to meet her needs. Let me be able to nurture her with great patience, wisdom and kindness.  Let me be the Mummy that you intended me to be for her. Amen.

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