you are the reason

My dear Jonie girl,
You are the reason that mummy's still celebrating life.  Since your arrival on 16th June 2011, what a blessing you have been!

On the day when mummy's water broke unexpectedly early (3 weeks earlier) at 5am, mummy had little or no pain till 8 plus in the morning.  That's when mummy ordered an epidural and right after that mummy even slept while waiting for the 7cm dilation to happen... But, you were eager to meet mummy and daddy, so by 12noon, mummy was already well 8cm dilated. Doc was called in, mummy started pushing at 1pm and by 1.50pm, you came bouncing out!  What a little angel you were! So delicately made. So tiny that mummy was afraid that mummy will break you if mummy held on too tightly.  Mummy remembered the time when you were laid on mummy's breast... you looked around with those big eyes, bewildered with the new surrounding and looking into mummy's face adoringly.  When mummy first looked at you, mummy knew then that you were the best gift God has ever given to mummy.

Since you were born prematurely, docs whisked you away to the Neonatal ICU for monitoring of your body temperature and sugar level in your blood.  Thank God you were OK. But the separation made mummy anxious to see you.  When mummy finally visited you in the ICU, you cried pitifully, as if telling mummy " why did you take so long to come see me?" ahh... it broke mummy's heart and mummy vowed never to leave you unattended for too long again. Mummy has kept that promise thus far....

Mummy had to learn everything about you in such a short time. Your likes, dislikes, what your cries mean, how you want to be held - wow, so much to learn! and mummy is still learning now. Especially when we first shared our breastfeeding experience, mummy was plagued with uncertainty - did mummy latch you on properly? how long should you be drinking? did you have enough to drink? how often should mummy put you to the breast? if mummy had sore and cracked nipples, how can mummy feed you? How can we overcome this together? so many questions that only both you and mummy can discover the answers together.

Mummy thank God for giving you to go through this journey with mummy. Your smiles and coos and whatever little responses to mummy, made all the sacrifices worth while.  Mummy will continue to persevere and be the best mummy to Jonie.  Help me, God, I pray. Let me understand my daughter. Let me be able to meet her needs. Let me be able to nurture her with great patience, wisdom and kindness.  Let me be the Mummy that you intended me to be for her. Amen.

the last mile

so finally, I've hit the 36th week mark! My gynae cautioned that it could be anytime now that my baby will make an appearance. I'm thrilled beyond words! Worried - yes, but trying to remain as calm as possible.  Guess the way to a successful labour is to just remain calm and go with the flow... I'll have another 1 more week to go before 37 weeks - when the baby will be considered full term. So, keeping my fingers crossed and praying that everything will be alright!

The journey thus far.....

Began with the home PKT early Nov 2010... yeah, had to test and retest, just to be sure, especially, when it was least expected :)

Still delusional about the additional weight I put on for this pregnancy - total of 13 kilos !!  OMG!

Oh yeah, well meaning strangers and friends and their common question... you know, I wished I could tell you EVERYTHING that I'm going thru.... all the pukings, pains, migraines, discomforts, body aches, ugly stretch marks,  trips to the loo in the middle of the night, the crazy snackings at 3 in the morning - boo hoo! 

  

How true! Everything seemed to increase in size except for my poor bladder! Not only searching for a toilet became a priority at shopping complexes and pratically everywhere I went, but I had to get up 3 -4 times a night to empty my bladder - grhh!!! can't sleep at all....!!!

Apart from physical changes, my appetite grew too, towards my 2nd tri.  The 1st  tri, I had very bad nauseous, so couldn't eat much except for dried "wan tan noodles" which I had pratically for breakfast, lunch and dinner :(  Can't explain this unnatural phenomenon.  Thank God, my liking for food changed after my first tri.  Of course, I was also very careful with what I eat. Having made sure all milk, juices are pastuerized, no half boiled eggs, no 'strange cheese' , no chinese herbs, no pineapples, no too cold or cooling food, etc....

Another memorable event:  attended the antenatal classes with hubby. This included a tour around the hospital - just to familiraize ourselves with the hospital  and the cost of the rooms and  facilities....while I swore I heard the distant wailings during child birth, I was so sure we heard the sound of money we had to spend, too...

... ka ching $$$!  ... ka ching $$$!

My 3rd tri onwards - kinda uneventful, usually, just the couch, ice cream and tv / books. Felt  tired all the time from 34 weeks onwards....

Oh yeah, one of my problems during my 3rd tri - iron deficiency! Had no choice but to take iron supplements. However, it kinda contributed to my constipation. Blah! had to endure the constipation as the iron is more important for the baby. Grow baby, grow!

And finally, hubby and I joked about how it will be like when we will have to rush to the hospital for labour! We'll certainly try to remain CALM, but we'll never know :)

Do keep us in prayer!

What a life! What every women should be prepared for!! 

Above all these,  I pray and trust God to give us the grace to sustain us through it all.

Kg Bakok

I found some old pictures of our mission trip to Kg Bakok. These pictures were taken from a trip that was made a couple of years after our first trip(think first trip was back in 2002 or 2003). I'd always remembered the first trip we went in to this village. The place was ill equipped. There were no toilets ready - save for a shack with 3 pieces of zinc as a makeshift wall and a hole in the ground.  The first five of us who went (Uncle Vincent, Gary, Ivy, Sai Hoong and myself) had a memorable and wonderful time getting to know the people there, establishing our ground work with our limited language capability.  God certainly has His plans for His people in this place for the entire work grew by leaps and bounds and till this day, we are still serving Him in this place.

This trip was made many years after the first trip - i think back in 2006. We went in with another cell group and it was a good mix of old and young group of people.

 The old "living room" space where we worshipped and slept at night.

Singing songs with the children as soon as we arrived. Some children are still on the way here as they've just heard that we've arrived.

 

The villagers- building a new place together for worship, ala "gotong royong" 

The infamous river - the Bakok children like to bring us here to have a fun bath time together! We'll come with loads of shampoo & shower gels for the kids.  

Lesson time - usually a short parable and a song after that.

 

More song sessions.... yup, the children there loved to sing! And, my, they can really sing!

They could memorize the lyrics by heart!

Fun time - we taught the children simple jump rope games (made of rubber band)!

Lesson time - this time outdoor style as the adults are occupying the space for their Sunday worship session. 

The "sanctuary" for adults to worship ..... usually the adults will occupy this space on Sunday mornings and we will take the children to the outdoors.

One of the great finds ~ a unique flower given by the children~

Lesson and song time

Distributing sweets at the end of the lesson....

All of us together now!

need a hug

I don't know why, but I suddenly felt like I need a hug! A big bear hug! One that squeezes me tightly and lovingly.  Perhaps it's the cold weather, coupled with rain?  Or perhaps it's because I am sitting alone waiting for my hubby to come home from work?  Perhaps it's just the fact that I just needed some encouragement. I do feel down and I'm sure a hug will certainly lift me up again. A warm, comforting arm around me, assuring me that everything will be alright - that'll be the simplest of all miracles in keeping joy in my heart :) 

have a nice weekend

Just a short blessing since weekend is just around the corner! have a nice weekend everyone!

today can be a masterpiece

I was greatly encouraged by John Maxwell's "Today Matters".

If I can make the right decisions and do the right things today, then I only need to spend the rest of my life managing those actions and decisions that I have made. Well, of course it's easier said than done. We all have plenty of decisions to make everyday. Trivial and major ones, but neither one can we commit lackadaisically. ALL decisions made today will carry an importance of tomorrow. How then, can we truly say that we made the right decisions today?

I believe, we need to stay focus on what matters to us the most. Our priorities such as family, marriage, health, ministries will top the list. Different seasons of our lives too, will require us to prioritize differently. A young wife may make it her priority to focus on her husband and a young mother may focus on her new born child. Their decisions will be centered on what's best for their spouse and new baby respectively. This will require some adjustments to attitude, actions and even sacrifices to ensure that spouse and baby receives undivided attention, love and care.

I remembered when I decided to quit from my career after 13 years. As a performing sales person, there was a lot of money in terms of commission earned at stake if I were to leave my job. But, I did it so resolutely that I even astounded myself! Alas, I will be lying to say that it was a breeze deciding on leaving! No! It was one of the toughest decision I've ever made. I remembered struggling with finding the joy of staying at home instead of meeting clients and closing sales. And, boy, do I struggle too with my self-esteem and that sense of worthlessness of not being able to earn your own money. It didn't help that I constantly garner sympathetic smiles from people I meet in social functions when I told them that I am no longer working but am a homemaker now.

But, the joy did eventually return, after much reflection and prayer. I learnt to adjust my attitude towards staying at home. I trust God that this is the right thing to do at this time of my life. The fun did return too, so much so that I enjoy every day now learning new things and preparing myself for motherhood. I learnt to look forward to the other things in life God has created and to take it all in as life's inspirations and motivations to me. I am determined to making each day memorable as it is a masterpiece!

when the going gets tough

I heard so much complaints from so many people recently that if I haven't known better, I would have thought that the world was one huge bleak and sorry place to be. People complain about the rising cost of living, their lack of material posessions, their jobs...the list is endless! Yeah, times are hard now but is complaining about how tough things are getting on the best way to deal with it?  I would like to believe that the best way to overcome the tough times is to be optimistic about things. To think positively despite the negativity. To be creative with the limited resources that we have.  To be prudent in our spending and wise in our decisions.  Of course, there're old habits to break and new habits to learn, too.  I know as I'm going thru my own major adjustment - from a working person to a stay at home wife.  Honestly, it was not an easy adjustment but all it takes is perseverance and a whole lot of faith in God for providence.  I'll like to think I'm still a work in progress but am glad to go through this with the right attitude.

imperfect

Appreciating teachers - 16 May celebration

Mrs Thompson's Lesson

by Unknown Author

As she stood in front of her 6th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around..'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'

His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem, and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs.Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets.'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was

usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

"Sejuta Impian" - A Million Dreams

I caught a show called “Sejuta Impian” over TV3 last Sunday evening. From what I gathered in that short half an hour, the show's aimed at financially supporting young people with great aspirations to achieve greater things for Malaysia. The fund was held in trust by 1MDB and it seems that there's a lot of money to be disbursed to deserving people who genuinely want to make a difference in this world. Now, I understand the concept but I don’t quite understand the rational on granting some funds by the panel jury.  And, I couldn’t believe how atrocious some requests were.


For example, there was one request which I wasn’t able to fathom the rational for a grant. A youngster came forth to present his case. He believes that he deserves financial assistance to be trained internationally for – of all things– skate boarding!! His dream is to then return to Msia and build a skate boarding “school” to "teach" Msians how to skateboard. The juries deliberated and finally at the end of the show, they’ve concluded that RM10k (sponsored by TV3) will be given to the youngster to learn skateboarding internationally and another RM10k will be given out of the fund from "Sejuta Impian" when he is back from his training. This second RM10k is to assist him in setting up a place, purchase of equipment etc to realize his dream. Now, who has heard of sending someone to be professionally trained in skateboarding? Isn’t it just a hobby that one can hone one’s skills simply by more practice? What can skate boarding contribute to Malaysia’s society and economy? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against skateboarding. Skate boarding as a hobby – hell, yes. But, skate boarding as an investment – don’t think so! It didn’t seem to have any solid return of investment.

Ok, so once funds are disbursed, how are we to measure the return of the investment, then? Will 1MDB pick the people they sponsor randomly and check on them? What measures do they have in place to ensure the investments do not go in waste? How will they measure the success of every dreams and aspirations "Sejuta Impian" has funded? How will 1MDB hold all who have received the financial assistance accountable?

Again some questions were swirling in my head as I watched the show. Wouldn’t this fund be more useful for other needy purposes? There are equally, if not, more important and pressing matters which can benefit from additional funds. How about improving the education system? Or improving the public transport services? Or even ensuring quality food for children in schools to curb obesity? Or providing free English lessons to all so we could all improve our command of English?

I am sure the noble intention here is to help young aspiring Msians to achieve their dreams, but I guess for an ordinary Msian citizen like me, who’s hard pressed with the rising cost of living and limited income, the fund should be used for other more important matters which will lessen our burden and bring us immediate and tangible results.

It's a jungle out there!

OMG! It’s a scene right out from jack and the beanstalk, except in this case, it’s more like “ahmad and the pokok kacang” and the stupid beanstalk isn’t leading to anywhere good. Look how messy the backyard is? How can they allow this to happen? Just because they are renting the place does not mean they can get away with the responsibility of keeping the backyard clean, tidy and ultimately safe. Their solution is to simply never open the back door and venture out to the backyard! Out of sight, out of mind! Almost anything and everything grows and lives there now. Snakes, small squirrels, ants, lizards, rates and a whole host of disgusting creepy crawlies. Aren’t they worried about safety especially when there’s a baby in the house? Oh gosh, I could almost scream at them for being such irresponsible and ignorant neighbors. But, I feel so helpless. All I can do now is to tirelessly keep cutting and fending off the crawlies from invading my home. If only they could take up the responsibility to keep their own backyard clean.

Messy ... messy... messy

where did it begin and where does it end? Horrible, creepy crawlies!

Living with inconsiderate neighbors are darn trying and taking my patience to its limit. Not only do I have to endure this irresponsible immediate neighbor who do not care about what happens to their own backyard, I also have to contend with one neighbor who lives two doors away and who sets up a Burger Ramly stall right in front of their house! Now, this was a shocker as the family are evidently well to do, owns a Toyota Harrier, a Kia and MyV. So, we really didn’t think that they will need this extra cash by selling burgers. But, whatever their reasons to start this business, as neighbors we accommodated graciously. Ok, so first we had to put up with the incessant burger smell every day. Then, they started to discard heaps of trash under a nearby tree next to my immediate neighbor’s house. That’s too much! I mean logically since my immediate neighbor’s house is famously messy, no one would complain about the additional pile of rubbish in front of their house, right?

unsightly pile of rubbish 

Eekkk!! Wrong!!!! “Melampau benar!!” How can people be so uncivilized? I mean, let’s face it. People would normally expect these people to be considerate and civic minded, after all their “agama” preaches much of these. Then why does this happen? Is it just pure selfishness? Clearly, they possess a mentality that it’s OK to mess up and dirty up other people’s place but not my own!

What about authorities? Is there anyone we can complain to? Who can help instill some moral and civic consciousness into these people? Is there a possibility to take legal action against them? I don’t think they even have a legitimate license to operate the burger stall to begin with. Surely there must be someone who can help us? Heck, these neighbors are really driving me crazy… I hope it’s not too late to teach these people some civic mindedness!!

icky worm in a bar of chocolate

Sometime last year (i think around Sept 2010), I bought a bar of chocolate but it turned out to be an "interesting" buy.
Who would have thought of being greeted by a fat and lively worm from a bar of chocolate? Utterly disgusting… The chocolate’s still within the expiry date, so who’s to own up to this lack of responsibility? Will it be the manufacturer or the hypermarts who stock them up? Really. I would have expected a decent hygienic control over a simple bar of chocolate. Not being petty here, just being real. As consumers, we all deserve better.

back in church

Hubby and I finally returned to church today after 3 long weeks. Yeah, after what seems like a really long period of absence, we finally managed to overcome my crazy hormones, tiredness and lack of sleep to drag ourselves to morning service. Believe me, sleep is difficult to come by at 8 months of pregnancy.

Back in the church, everything suddenly seemed a little foreign, even the worship songs seemed a little new. But we enjoyed learning new songs nevertheless.  There were also new faces in the church, too (Praise the Lord for that).  What I missed the most was probably the people in the church. Sorry pastors, I know I should have mentioned that I missed your brilliant sermons here, but it's the people that actually made the difference in any church. I was looking forward to be back in touch with friends.  It was invigorating to meet our friends again and catch up on what's going on in their life and feel the warmth of genuine fellowship. 

Having said that, I can't help but feel that there are some who have suddenly become indifferent towards us.  These people just walked by and did not bother to say a simple hello. Hah! Not even a smile was offered. Surely, it's not because you haven't been to church for some time, they tend to forget about you and would not bother to extend simple courtesies? I'm not being overly sensitive here - you know when you are being treated differently.  What's worse, they seemed to create cliques now and move comfortably only in cliques. They are oblivious to anyone else outside their clique.  Now, if I, an old member of the church could feel it, imagine what the new comers to the church will feel?  How can churches be able to draw more people to it when this is the kind of attitude they condone? Don't we need to change our mindset and be more outward looking? It is afterall about building God's church and see it transform the community we are in.  Don't we need to ask ourselves, is something missing in the life of our church? 

I remembered having read Ken Blanchard & Phil Hodges' "The Most  Loving Place In Town".  It addresses the very problem a church will suffer if we lost our first love and passion, which is God.  After having read this book, I have gained an honest insight into myself, my church and the loving relationship I enjoy with Jesus and with one another. Of course, it will be ideal to have the entire church read it too, but  perhaps we can start with baby steps by first finding our love for God again and let His unconditional love flow to people around us.  So, I am going to start with ME. Yes, me. Since i read the book, and surely cannot claim ignorance on this matter, I shall take this step to start something good.

I've got it in me!

Last but not least for today, I came across this cute little pup giving me a huge encouragement for my next phase of life.  Yeah, I know I can do things right.  Even if I fail the first time, I can get back up and do it right the second time.  I am a smart, confident, charismatic, energetic woman and I can embrace all new challenges with God's help.  I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  

home cooking experiments

Since I took a break from work, I tried my hands on some dishes. Not exactly perfect , but edible and quite a good effort I shall say ;p

this is baked Kailan plus baby corn and potato.

This dish is one of my hubby's fave.  Roasted chicken wing with baked potatoes and baby corns. Soup however, was from the canned, Campbell Mushroom soup.

This is my specialty.  Dried prawns chilli paste ('sambal').

Meticulously blended dried prawns with onions and chilli. Very nice to eat this with Maggie Mee, noodles or any other dishes.  

ABC soup with asparagus. Healthy choice....

There were some more efforts but didnt manage to capture all the pics. 

My hope is to be able to learn some Foo Chow cooking from dad in the future so I can dazzle my family with delicious Foo Chow dishes..... 

what's gotten into me?

What's gotten into me?  as you probably realized now, i am blogging excessively today. Bear with me.... so much to show and tell.... well, better do it now than procrastinate till the next year ...ha ha ha...

OMF

This was a place we visited back in Oct 2009. It is actually a retreat home for missionaries and christian workers - a place where they can unwind and recharge themselves for God's labour.  It is a peaceful, homely and serene place - perfect to seek God and reflect on our own journey with Him.  The weather was great and the food was divine! Our cell group held a retreat in this place and it was a memorable trip.

The way up to Cameron Highlands accompanied by heavy rain and fog.

OMF - front view

OMF - view from the big spacious garden

Kids loved the big space here to run around. Also there's a mini playground with slides and swings.

Superb cookies. Home made ones, baked by the caretaker. Ooh, btw, she made the BEST scones ever!!

Have to try the scones with strawberry jam. Tasted so heavenly :)

Mini pantry with generous supply of coffee and tea.

Comfortable living room with a piano.

Dining place - where we have our breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper!

krabi Jan 2010

Had a brilliant escape to Krabi with hubby back in Jan 2010. Yeah, after a year only I'm posting this, so that really shows what a sloth I had become. Anyway, it was a trip worth our every penny. It was nice, cheap and just what we needed to breakaway from our hectic schedules.

We had our initial apprehension of going to Thailand, but alas, we chose Krabi as we learnt that it is a much better place (more family friendly) as compared to Phuket and less busy than Bangkok.  Furthermore, I have just been to Phuket end of 2009 for a company trip and thought perhaps Krabi will make a great next destination since both are not too different. So, we promptly booked our holiday with AirAsia Go Holiday and off we flew to Krabi for a couple of days of sheer bliss.

The hotel was not too bad. It is within walking distance to all the shops and restaurants.  Also the rooms were nicely decorated, with these 2 elephants greeting us in the hotel room.

I had my massage in the room too :) so much pampering during the trip. Totally relaxing.

Bath towels folded into beautiful elephants greeted us in the room!

 We ventured out to a nearby town for our dinner and ta da!! found this gem of a place.  The dinner was really nice.  We found a simple restaurant serving Thai food and had a generous sample of delicious Thai food at a very reasonable cost.

Mango and orage juice - decorated with orchid flowers

The restaurant and its simple decoration

rice served star-shaped on our plates :)

Yummy!

More food followed the next couple of days.  And, it was walking along the stalls and shopping, shopping and shopping :) 

2nd day dinner - seafood buffet for THB250 per person - nice, too!

In one of our walks, we caught this by the beach when it's low tide...

ah, our contented faces :)